Lyrics
All Lyrics written by Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All Music written by Jonathan Balfour and Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All Vocals by Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
Some lyrical content is not appropriate for individuals under the age of 18.
© 2006 Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna). All rights reserved.
Warning: Unauthorized duplication is prohibited by Federal Law and subject to criminal prosecution.
| Passage of Grey |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
Broken Star (Intro)
Baby,
I hate clichés
But I have just got to say
It was love in my heart
At first sight of you here
Never have I ever
Felt so holy
Just meeting you dear
And I hate letting go
But for you
I'd abandon my need
To go slow
In your arms
I see my homeward trail
Transformed
Desert streams of sorrow
Transgressed
By wondrous storm
Baby,
I hate what she
Put your soul through
But at
Your worn feet
I'd retire steadfast to you
It's not fear of loneliness
That draws me so soon
In fact
My stable assuredness
Arrests me with gloom
And I hate
How beautiful you are
But only because
It places you
So far up
On this pedestal
I am right below
To administer the sacrament
Of you
Wherever you go
Baby,
I hate the rising water
Of fate
I pray it never
Hurry me gone
From where you are
Never plague
Me to ask myself,
"Will I have not the power
To raise this dawn for you?"
(Piano, String and Vocal Solo)
My eyes envision
The sunlight
Sailing away
With you
Ensured by my side
Where to that
Shadowland passage of grey
I'd love you
I'd love you.
< back |
| Phrenic |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
Let us abate sex
From the theorem here
It's not like you
Were good at it anyway
It's not like I
Could do anything
But lay there
When you break this down
To a phrenic affair
It chills and shakes
My bones to think:
I swallowed ticket whole
Through mergence
Held root freedom
There in fellowship?!
You can only
Push so far before
Promiscuous girl
Gets cloyed and pushed
From her cage
You can only
Pump so hard before
Leopard cerebrum
Circumvents self-undoing
Let us remove "victim"
From the focus here
It's not like I
Couldn't sense this backslide
It's not like you
Were ingenious enough
To screw me
When you lessen this plight
To a noetic affair
It mars and cuffs
My heart to think:
I said I'd follow you
Regardless
Lost trajectory there
To venery?!
You can only
Push so far before
Promiscuous girl
Gets cloyed and pushed
From her cage
You can only
Pump so hard before
Leopard cerebrum
Barges in sequentially
Let us evict supremacy
From the equation here
It's not like a female
Could actually win this!
It's not like historic bull
Could be furnished obsolete!
When you temper this doctrine
Like a dog-like citizen would do
It cracks
And humors myself to think:
I said I'd uproot
Anchored perceptions
Vowed to miscarry law
By rebelling?!
Bridge:
This double standard
Doesn't acerbate me
No, not like it used to
And egotist boys
They don't capsize me
No, not like they'd like to
My paycheck is
The budding revocation
Albeit it's
In my own back-pocket
My payback is
The imminent heart-break
I see it
On your dust-bin docket
You can only
Push so far before
Promiscuous girl
Gets cloyed and pushed
From her cage
You can only
Pump so hard before
Leopard cerebrum
Obliterates sightlessness.
< back |
| Still Your Kin |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
I am not weak
Still, you hate me
Your base conviction
Is torturing my name
Steering course
To defame
Though I am white-skinned
I am still your kin
Though you hate me
I will ferry your sin
And I will let you "win"
Though I forgave
What you did
I'm not stupid
I am clinging
To every bit of love
It's my
Only nirvana
It's my
Only nirvana
(Piano Solo)
Bridge:
Your hate for me
Pathologically rapes me
Persecution
Is the purest path
To God
Thus, to break
Is to laud
Hear me brethren
Though you hate me
I will stand for you -
Die,
Revering your blood
Though I forgave
What you did
I'm not stupid
I am clinging
To every bit of love
It's my
Only nirvana
It's my
Only nirvana
It's my
Only nirvana
It's my only nirvana.
< back |
| Not That Hard |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
Is it easier to vindicate
Your malevolence for me
If you have me pegged
As a pietistic fanatic?
Regardless of never
Having practiced formally
Society chastises me
For having an old soul
Isn't it obvious
That I am the intellectually
Superlative one here?
Your embarrassment
About this fact
Manifests itself
Through physical assault
Unfortunately for you,
Your hatred makes me
All the more strong and
Naturally,
That painstakingly
Unhinges you
Not that hard
To demoralize
The point-of-view
Of a delicate woman
The real difficulty comes
In maintaining the praise-
Worthy position
Of a reputable woman
Isn't it disgraceful
When your friends
Already know that
You only taunt me
Because you feel burned?
Sadly enough,
Your own god complex
Ignited this fire
That realization came
Once we mistakenly
Agreed to be equals
Isn't it easier to crack
The chauvinistic whip
If you categorize me
Under woman
Of loose virtue?
As far as I can recall,
You gave up
Your so-called morals
Just as easy
However,
You’ve no kitten
So it's thereto admissible,
Right?
Not that hard
To prostitute or demote
An angelic woman
The real difficulty comes
In soundly endorsing
The sanctity
Of a "difficult" woman
Is it easier
To pretend you've moved on
As the peace-making catalyst
When in actuality
You're still raged
With this woman?
The game's been over
In my mind
For quite some time now
But if you're up
For another round
I'll see if I can
Pencil you in
Bridge:
Corner me
Violate me
Censor me
Because I'm all woman
You know you want to
I dare you to
Oops,
There I go again
Vacating the status quo
Doesn't taste so good
Does it?
Straight-up bitch
In your mouth
Must be so emasculating
Knowing I've
The bigger rocks
God-rest
Those pseudo gems
Below your belt
Not that hard
To capitalize
On the sex appeal
Of a pliable woman
The real difficulty comes
In being at ease
With commercialization
Of an intelligent woman.
< back |
| In There (Binah) |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
Faith Be Not Burned (Intro):
Do not be affrighted
Do not be ashamed
Yahweh is with you always...
So tonight is another night
One more breath of death
And you'll sink down
Straight to the hearth
Of hurting hearts
Where you're not faulted
If you drown
I want to be in there with you
I am not frightened
By the darker view
I have been right where you're at
Most of my life
I can show you that pain
Is fuel for the flight
So tonight is another erratic façade
One more chance
To wash your hands
But you'll choose to beat the odds
And re-channel the blame within
Where regulated fate
Won't bruise again
I want to be in there with you
I am not frightened
By the darker view
I have been right where you're at
Most of my life
I can show you that pain
Is fuel for the flight
So tonight is another lover lost
One more drink before you pause
To reevaluate the game
To contemplate the price of pain
But it's too high
To keep you sane
I want to be in there with you
I am not frightened
By the darker view
I have been right where you're at
Most of my life
I can show you that pain
Is fuel for the flight
So tonight
Is another step toward God
But halfway there
You turn to sob
You are too ashamed
Of what you are not
So punish yourself
With virulent thought
You are not the only one
In there!
Bridge:
The darkness that
Pulls you deeper
Will eventually
Break your fall
The belief
That you have to suffer
Is not Godly truth at all.
< back |
| Ascending |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
I can hear a symphony orchestra
When I look at you
Every part of me breathes
Through you and
My vision is affirmed
In soft colors
Let me lay you down
In perfect accord
Let my voice enrapture you -
A beautiful lament
Let me touch your face
Your soul is all I long
For to be near you,
It's all I long for -
To sing for you
I'll scribe you to my score
And string the wavelengths
Of your heart
I'll open you to my ocean
Foreordain your orchestra
I'll sing you ashore to my sea
And salvage your symphony
This joy I feel
Because of you
Is expansive and bare
And for you
I have borne with composure
Far too long
And harbored this love
Within the blueness of my ballads
Then you emerged in white
From the shadow of my sonata
You whispered me whole
And walked on water
Just to write my worth
In warm billows
Just to lay me down
And shoulder my sorrow
I'll scribe you to my score
And string the wavelengths
Of your heart
I'll open you to my ocean
Foreordain your orchestra
I'll sing you ashore to my sea
And salvage your symphony
In fearless ambition
Let me come to you
In weightless simplicity
Let me kiss your lips
In exuberant red
Let me transcend through song
Your destiny
Your soul
It's all I long
For to be near you,
It's all I long for -
To sing for you
I'll scribe you to my score
And string the wavelengths
Of your heart
I'll open you to my ocean
Foreordain your orchestra
I'll sing you ashore to my sea
And salvage you -
Your symphony.
< back |
| Blockage |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
How long before you take me
Dear Moira,
I've learned the truth
Too soon perhaps I have bid
For a cup white absolute
And it seems
The more I've asked of you
You've wished to be the lesser
In my death scene
You froze the image:
Purpose lamed by fictive pressure
I am the underestimated
Young sensationalist
The scolded overemotional
Canon prophetess
All I've envisioned for myself
Crawled through thin skin
And bit me
Every theory thus defied
I have provoked hostility
Weightless disconnectedness
To prognoses that I narrate
Maker my heart's the watercraft -
The astral pond on which you wait
Though not as vain to idealize you
As it is to scorn the weather;
Infernal past life pulls me back in
Karma's sky, restrained with fetters
I am the underestimated
Young sensationalist
The scolded overemotional
Canon prophetess
All I've envisioned for myself
Crawled through thin skin
And bit me
Every theory thus defied
I have provoked hostility
How foolish -
To pledge my renown
Bridle and wield public acclaim
Choose applauds to numb and heal
Divert those years of cumbered rain!
Still dissembling the rage here
And it more than terrifies
This tendency for trick condemning
One day Moira you'll pacify
I am the underestimated
Young sensationalist
The scolded overemotional
Canon prophetess
All I’ve envisioned for myself
Crawled through thin skin
And bit me
Every theory thus defied
I have provoked hostility.
< back |
| Clinical |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
I can't seem to feel anymore
I cut myself, hoping to grieve
And crack the shell of what I thought
Contained my happiness
Censure can't hurt when I'm numbing
With closed heart I’ve journeyed
Imperviously
Can't fight it now,
Vacuous being
Come shut me down
Frigid machine
Turbid backlash
Has deadened me
I can't seem to feel anymore,
I write to God, trying to bleed
And choose the words that I suspect
Will bring salvation back
Judgment won't land if I come clean
With closed heart I've journeyed
Imperviously
Can't fight it now,
Vacuous being
Come shut me down
Frigid machine
Turbid backlash
Has deadened me
I can't seem to feel anymore
I dodge friction, silence lemma
And ward off storm every woman
Contends with when she speaks
I will be loved if concede
I can't seem to feel anymore
I lay with you, set to evade
A decorous union that this world
Has pressured me to need
I won't have "failed" if I'm married?!
With closed heart I've journeyed
Imperviously
Can't fight it now,
Vacuous being
Come shut me down
Frigid machine
Turbid backlash
Has deadened me
I can't seem to feel anymore
I speak of love, want to believe
And trust that men who've lied to me
Now regret losing me
Rejection can't last if I'm upbeat
Bridge:
Please unhand me now
I want to feel
The pain I've ventured
All my life to heal
Did not credit hurt
Sufficiently
For the edge it had in
Keeping me hungry.
< back |
| Divine Miss L |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
Let me say
Just one thing darling
When I hear
Your sweet voice calling
I may come but
I won't come running
Had too many guys
That done plenty of nothing
Listen honey,
I ain't bitter
And I ain't sad
Just been denied
Of all the things I should have!
Got a ton of pent-up energy
Just dying to let loose
Don't want to strap it down
With crying
Just want to tie me up
With you
When you see me
Just call me
"The Divine Miss L"
The title is royal,
But I've earned it well
I've come a long way
From my tearful falter
To be ignored
At resurrection altar
I've got a whole lot of critics
Just loving to hate me
I don't need a crucifier
To satisfy me lately
So you'd like a blank canvas
On which to paint your world?
Here's a brush,
Now go dab it
On some other girl
When you see me
Just call me
"The Divine Miss L"
The title is royal,
But I've earned it well
I've come a long way
From my tearful falter
To be ignored
At resurrection altar
I don't want
To be your fast-track,
One-time lover
Don't want to be your part-time,
Twenty-year-old mother
Take your high price offer,
Throw it down the aisle
Make a deal that'll wean
This weary woman awhile
When you see me
Just call me
"The Divine Miss L"
The title is royal,
But I've earned it well
I've come a long way
From my tearful falter
To be ignored
At resurrection altar
Now you're staring
At Divine
'Cause she blows you away
And she'd look pretty good
On your resume
Well she comes from the land
Of the fruitful pick
Not designed to resign
To some shallow sidekick
I don't want to compete
With your formidable force
I'm not schooled to be awed
By your flashy discourse
You've got your BA in b.s.
And your Masters in me?
Well that don't mean nothing
Without your loving degree
Bridge:
I don't like
To test motives
By ulterior means
"Mr. Genuine" Lover
Better be all he seems
I'm just not in the mood
To be quietly rumbled
I need a surefire love
To be eternally humbled.
< back |
| Equal |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
I'm used to looking
The other way
When I meet a guy
Who likes to play
But you've got some witty,
Smooth technique
And it drags me down
Your savage street
There was a time
When I liked the chase
Sweaty in tears
And with my disgrace
I hate to think of
Running again
In good shape,
But out of good men
So let's pour some equal into this cup
I’m tired of sugar 'cause it keeps me up
Got a spoonful of flavored sweet allure
And I'm ready to dip if you're ready to stir
There's just no real way
To play this smart fool
Cause I've swam the depths
With the best of the pool
So if you'll be willed
Then I'll be frank
And we can make this
Frugal meal a bank
I don't need your hot check,
Quick withdraw
From my account
To break the law
Just balance some effort
Into your act
And I'll give you credit
For what you lack
So let's pour some equal into this cup
I'm tired of sugar 'cause it keeps me up
Got a spoonful of flavored sweet allure
And I'm ready to dip if you’re ready to stir.
< back |
| Exemplar |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
Where are you ideal?
All those layers of projection
Set me up for the fall
Where are you runaway exemplar?
Your fantasy, figment foundation
Set me up for the fall
The element of unknowing
Kept me attached
You were too blocked
And self-cocooned
To covet me back
Abrasiveness -
My unraveling
Foot stuck in the door,
Exposedness -
My unnerving
Restive heart ignored
Confirmably the reason
For my surging into illusion
Stemmed from my insistence
On only drawing from the surface
Where are you ideal?
Starry-high expectations
Set me up for the fall
Where are you runaway exemplar?
Your fantasy, figment foundation
Set me up for the fall
The very process
Of driving down
This road dethrones me
The dismal air
Of The Adirondacks
Still unsettles me
Where are you ideal?
Rose-colored exaltations
Set me up for the fall
Where are you runaway exemplar?
Your fantasy figment foundation
Set me up for the fall
Bridge:
This veteran pursuit
Was never for real
Obsession long since worn
And grained in hype
Still I foolishly return there exemplar
My boots still muddy with denial ideal
Still no known remedy here fantasy
My false destiny once roamed there archetype
Where are you ideal?
All those layers of projection
Set me up for the fall
Where are you runaway exemplar?
Your fantasy, figment foundation
Set me up for the fall.
< back |
| Finally Healthy |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
I've been traveling 'cause
Miles feed
Senses abound
That I am finally healthy,
Covering ground
I don't have to see it:
The truth's full-frontal hue
When I am restless,
Shifting my way out of view
From a safe distance
I can prevail
Authentically
With my head down
Toward walking feet
Incognizant
Don't feel "crazy"
I've been traveling 'cause
Miles feed
Senses abound
That I am finally healthy,
Covering ground
I don't have to feel it:
My inbred discontent
When I am scheming
My rainbow colored ascent
From a safe distance
I can prevail
Authentically
With my eyes out
Toward spinning fleet
Defenses down
Creature complete
I've been traveling 'cause
Miles feed
Senses abound
That I am finally healthy,
Covering ground
I don't have to hide it:
My mental disconnect
When I am withdrawn,
Retrograde mind in effect
From a safe distance
I can prevail
Authentically
With my heart thick
And stuck in dream
Perfection earned
Affection-free
Bridge:
Senseless to equate
Remoteness with liberation
But in my mind I mend the breach
In my mind, sense free to speak
And I know I can prevail
Authentically
Authentically
From a safe distance,
I am finally healthy.
< back |
| I Have Been Tied |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
(Intro):
I don't want to hurt anymore...
I have a story
I want to share with you
When it's not easy
Being you
Alone or in love
You don't disclaim the pain
Inherent sadness
Does not yield
To calculated fame
See as a young girl
I sought to redeem
This tireless vision
Melded into a dream
I have been tied
By unrelenting despair
It has coerced me
To tangle with
My darkest affair
It has backed me to the wall
Of feigned humanity
But I recognize
My freedom opportunity
Dishonesty
Breeds irrationality
You convince yourself
You have to change
So they won't flee
One step toward that stage
Of nonconformity
Was the inauguration
Of their guiltless brutality
I have been tied
By unrelenting despair
It has coerced me
To tangle with
My darkest affair
It has backed me to the wall
Of feigned humanity
But I recognize
My freedom opportunity
It's never enough:
Your physicality
What is there left for you
In the bed
When "beauty" fails to be?!
I tried so hard
To make them love me
Took my own breakdown
Before I embraced
The soul-project of me
But what does it mean -
Spiritual nobility?
You're honest for once
Then forthrightness
Is your vanity?!
I have been tied
By unrelenting despair
It has coerced me
To tangle with
My darkest affair
It has backed me to the wall
Of feigned humanity
But I recognize
My freedom opportunity
Bridge:
I feel
Unfolding
The cultural confoundedness
Of receptivity:
Be responsive
To higher realms but
Do not display awareness openly?!
I do not want to hurt anymore
Resisting my life
Never seemed so secular before
Oh but how many times
Must one get burned
Before appreciating
The darkness
Of the things they've learned?!
< back |
| Incarnate |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
Cannot withdraw
This reflex absconding
Infiltrates each day
Did not foresee
This union full, aberrant
Blown-open this way
Singular disparity
Counting sound
With no guilt
Carbon soul eclipses?
Caravans disparate?
Cognate philosophies?
Cryptic breach ultimate?
Soul-sponge ears
When he's speaking
Not hearing but
Being buried
In each word
Sported there the grey
Wool-knit sweater
From Scotland...
He said insipidly,
There are two kinds
Of tension:
Sexual, mental
Her nonage quickly parted
Singular disparity
Counting sound
With no guilt
Carbon soul eclipses?
Caravans disparate?
Cognate philosophies?
Cryptic breach ultimate?
He said devoutly
His laughter
Enshrouds grief
First teasing
Now breathing
Green, intrepid trailblazer;
I had opened this first
Truly if he said this
Crush design would not work
Would decamp willingly
Demystify sans judgment
Would release fate incarnate
Singular disparity
Counting sound
With no guilt
Carbon soul eclipses?
Caravans disparate?
Cognate philosophies?
Cryptic breach ultimate?
< back |
| Into You |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
From behind the gate
You stood unveiled
You walked into my heart
You endured the blows
You called my name
And I exploited your openness
So hard to remit
My guilt
I was terrified
Of stepping on your toes
Of being too readily available
Of overextending my stride
You never knew this
But I've had this intense desire
To be the one to rescue you
From my own disregard
And it's slowly consuming me
I laughed as you struggled
Sat back,
Watched you mulling
Over all my moves
I just wanted
To offer my regrets
I was foolishly idealistic
I expected too much
I felt too much
And with my youth,
Came a worldly perception
Of love
But oh too limited of an insight
Into you
You never knew this
But I've had this intense desire
To be the one to rescue you
From my own disregard
And it's slowly consuming me.
< back |
| It Will Come |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
I spent my whole life
Just looking for you
And you came to me
You came to me
And you were true
I kept looking up for you
To lift me but
You took me down
So that I could see
Everything
I thought I knew
Came crashing down
And chafed my soul
I just want to thank you
For giving me a love
So true
You were to me
And I just want to thank you
I could not love
No, I could not even
Love myself
But you gave me a voice
And you gave me a choice
And nothing else
I need nothing more
I was low
'Cause I couldn't feel you
Oh, I was so low
I even wanted to die
But as I was breaking down
You were building up
With a love
So true
I just want to thank you
For giving me a love
So true
You were to me
And I just want to thank you
And you told me
And you told me
Write it down
Write it down
Sing it loud -
Sing the vision
"At the end it shall speak,
And not lie:
Though it tarries,
Wait for it...
It will surely come
It will not tarry..."
It will come.
< back |
| Kills |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
It's a classic
Age-old psychosis:
Shrouded
Love-hate feelings
Toward your mother
Toss you to and from
Your guilt and anger
Mommy's both safeguard
And male defiler
And every woman
You've ever known
Has been cut off "justifiably"
(They gave their all but,
You couldn't love you)
The kid rage that you've extended
To me and all those "bitches"
Don't lie
You cannot walk without it
Kills right?
('Cause you cannot walk without us)
Your fix?
Feministic devaluation
The sad part?
I never fucked you over
Though I should have
(And you know it "Ren")
What kept me hanging on
Still encumbers me
No love retention
In domination
My trying to heal you -
Just plain stupid
First sight of blood
And you'd think
I'd have walked
The kid rage that you've extended
To me and all those "bitches"
Don't lie
You cannot walk without it
Kills right?
('Cause you cannot walk without us)
Bridge:
I am prepared
For what you'll say
Ever braced
For your big moment:
No therapy
Could take the edge off
Such an angry, embittered girl
But I know you and
I know you know the truth
(It hurts, don't it?)
The kid rage that you've extended
To me and all those "bitches"
Don't lie
Don't lie
Don't lie
You cannot walk without it
Kills right?
('Cause you cannot walk without us).
< back |
| My Self Back |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
Everything they said
Everything they did to me
Is null to me now
All their offering up
Of "balm"-
Alleged constructives
Fucked with my mind
Weighted by service
I caved, refuted, ignored
Now utterly abhorred
I am by such willingness
To have subjected self
To misery
Cannot afford
To be anything but one-track
All former warmth is now worn
I have thrusted my self back
Cannot afford
To be anything but one-track
Soft ministry stagnant
I have thrusted my self back
Innate gentleness
Ever spineless you pegged it
Now I'm officially hardened
By your shit,
Do you dig it?
Behind-the-scenes type female
Pet indigent,
So you tagged it
Heartless,
Starlit shrew in your face,
Did you fig. it?!
Cannot afford
To be anything but one-track
Belligerence amplified
I have thrusted my self back
Cannot afford
To be anything but one-track
Tolerance eradicated
I have thrusted my self back
Bridge:
Devious dealings
You once hid
From me you lost
Your only friend
So now I smile 'cause
You're hard-up for me
In spite of all your
Offering up of
Calm, so-called goodness
You once fucked
With my mind
Yet I stayed put
Took heart,
Was pitied
By your vice
Played, laden
With
dependent ties
Now utterly abhorred I am
By thoughts of having lost
My one true friend
(Myself)
Hey "Ren,"
Your tantrum volatility -
Never again
Have found my self now
Finally
Cannot afford
To be anything but one-track
Defunct righteousness
I have thrusted my self back
Cannot afford
To be anything but one-track
Identity consecrated
I have thrusted my way back
I have thrusted my way back
Everything you said
Everything you did
You mean nothing to me now
You once epitomized everything.
< back |
| No Longer Inferior |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
Took so long to stop the running
I was addicted to the pain
Fearing of love, internal storm
Spineless and strained by what I felt
Abased myself 'til I evanished
I didn't understand lightweight
Compulsively avoiding everything...
In spite of image
Formally projected
My struggle firm
I lost baby
Exhausted chance
I damaged lover
Loving me
Was long-delayed
(Work in Progress)
< back |
| No Pressure |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
Hey there darling
Let's take a little walk darling
Let have a jaw-dropping
Show-stopping talk and
Feel our souls rocking darling
Well, I've got a thing
For you baby
Just in case you haven't noticed
Well I've always had
A sweet thing for you baby
And it's time I let my love swing
Right through you baby
Maybe you don't know it honey
But this letting go and giving in -
This giving up a chance to win
It's just never been my style
But I'd give my throne
To see you smile
Oh I just want you so much
I'd give my all to feel your touch
I think it's time we give way
To this mutual need
To look around at the stars
And let planet love lead
To sit way on back
And take in this view
No pressure on you baby
But it's up to you
You know as well as I do honey
That fate ain't fully prophesized
You know half our fate
Is a compromise
And I just can't be contained forever
This mystery of you and me
Well it's about to blow its cover
There was a time darling
When this naïve and blissful heart
Was badly stung and left to starve
Well I'm not about to go hungry again
So feed me darling,
Let me in
I think it's time we give way
To this mutual need
To look around at the stars
And let planet love lead
To sit way on back
And take in this view
No pressure on you baby
But it's up to you.
< back |
| Profession |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
Oh my sweet love,
My child
Tonight I envision you here
Through the waves
Of your perfection I
Sow the truth for you
And for me my love,
But find no response here in
God,
Do you really even feel
This pain in me
As I cry to her?
Did you know in truth that
I would stand here
Forever mourning
The very flesh that
You gave life You
Put to sleep
But still
I cannot close my eyes
This night
Nor will I ever again
Drift into light
Until I see her
Oh will I see her again
When I have professed the truth?!
Where is the truth as
I fight this gloom?!
I understand that you
Seek not to punish me
Yet I am left here weeping -
Still treading further
Into despair my
Sweet love,
My lovely child
I envision you here always
To me an affirmation
Of perfection
(And still)
I will sow that truth
For you,
And for me my love -
My lovely child
Though I have yet
To hear your answer
Will you disclose to me
The divine chord of peace?
Blood of my blood
That fears not this sad night
Will you sing to me the truth?
I will sow it here
I will sow it here for you.
< back |
| Push-Over |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
Get a grip
You ego-maniacal back-stabber
Was not your invectiveness
That traumatized me
Was not your harassment
That terrorized me
You little rookie antagonist so
Screw your "friendly" intervention
And gathering
Of virgin apostles
Your cardinal reign
Is over now
And I have zero interest in
Appealing to mainstream
Your cardinal reign
Is over now
I have no further interest in
Assuming victimization
Take a look at me world
This is what happens
When for years you've held
And pushed it back inside
This is what happens
When for years
You've lifted them
But not yourself
This is what becomes
Of pressed down hate-
Raging frustration
This is how you function
After years spent enabling
Chronic deluders
Your cardinal reign
Is over now
And I have zero interest in
Appealing to mainstream
Your cardinal reign
Is over now
I have no further interest in
Assuming victimization
Bridge:
Now is your term
Poor "Ren,"
Feel the servility I felt?
Feels so damn good
To fully exculpate myself
Time is up
Light "Dims"
You under blanket of shame
Finally getting what you dealt:
Black eye and
Losing your sick game
Your cardinal reign
Is over now
And I have zero interest in
Appealing to mainstream
Your cardinal reign
Is over now
I have no further interest in
Assuming victimization
Maybe it took me
Longer than most
To figure out
What was killing me
Maybe it took me
Longer than most
To purge them:
Scathing man and cancer in me
My heart is in my throat now
I've got it figured out now
I've got this under my thumb now
Your cardinal reign
Is over now
And I have zero interest in
Appealing to mainstream
Your cardinal reign
Is over now
I have no further interest in
Assuming victimization.
< back |
| Special |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
Takes a very special
Kind of man
To understand
Where I'm coming from
I found one once
But I got bored
And threw him out
The biggest mistake
A man can make is
Acting like he's already
Won her over
Simply because
She's hugged or fucked him
Once or twice
Get kicks when
Screwing like a man:
Emotionless,
Leaving you stranded
Taking control
Don’t hold my hand
'Cause I'm special
And you're just horny
Takes a very special
Kind of mind
To comprehend
Just what I'm saying
I connected with one once
But it defied me
So I shut it out
The biggest mistake
I ever made was
Mistrusting me - neglecting self,
With bated breath
I chased and nagged
Stonewalling for
Idolatry
Get kicks when
Screwing like a man:
Emotionless,
Leaving you stranded
Taking control
Don't hold my hand
'Cause I'm special
And you're just horny
Takes a very special
Kind of woman
To not get knocked out
By public opinion
I can think of only a few
Look at their clout
And how they are hated
The biggest mistake
A woman can make
Is backing down
From male encumbrance
See all the girls doing just that
I did it too and
Now we are paying
Bridge:
I am special
Don’t you forget it
I am special
In every way
I worked hard
To be this special
Won’t hang my head
Won’t vacillate
Red carpeting,
Roll it my way
Get kicks when
Screwing like a man:
Emotionless,
Leaving you stranded
Taking control
Don't hold my hand
'Cause I'm special
And you're just horny.
< back |
| Spring Guardian |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
Crying gentile,
Why so hungry;
Dependence sought
In crystalline
Cages that canonize
And consecrate
Faith-gripping karmic loyalty?
Your suffering:
Mystic and stinging
Iced by my youthful quandary
I brought it home and let it sunder
Soon after faint and lumbering
Preparing meals
For your depression
Good places set forth
Spiritually
I set a place here for your God
Temple not Shrine,
But I believe
My harvest thrives
As heart protector
Healing springs health and purity
Your pain intuited
Is ageless,
Cataclysmic,
Stray,
Motherly.
< back |
| Starry Merit |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
I used to play my songs
For you because
I wanted you to hear me
And now I wonder
Why I even tried
Even if I had chosen
To give nothing,
You still would not change
I dissolved in tears
Because I needed you
To turn your head
To stare in awe
At the radiance of my glow
So with starry merit
I flew strong into the night
In hopes that
I might find you there
Amid the components
Of my "flaws"
Oh the things I abandoned
To become the successor of your shadow
To become this transient soul
To live in grievance of a broken need
Bridge:
I only wanted you to
Understand me
I only wanted you to
Fulfill your role
I only wanted you to
Melt your defenses
I only wanted you to
Pay homage to my name
I only wanted you to
Weep for me
I only wanted you to
Open yourself
To the pain of song
Oh the things I abandoned
To become the successor of your shadow
To become this transient soul
To live in grievance of a broken need
And still I mourn the thought
Of how things might have been
If only you had tried
To listen
If only you had wanted
To know my voice
Oh the things I abandoned
To become the successor of your shadow
To become this transient soul
To live in grievance of a broken need.
< back |
| The Avante-Garde |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
It seemed the days
Wouldn't move fast enough
And I'd waited far too long
To feel some love
I was singing hard
For my childhood dream
Side-splitting,
Showcasing,
Just to be seen!
Then you pulled me off stage
And asked me to dance
It wasn't my style -
Masking sweet romance
But I let you lead
'Cause I liked your swing
An avant-garde
With a rich routine
The first guy unalarmed
By my Scorpio sting
You burst the bubble
Of the girl
Who liked to be the Queen
When I spoke of my dreams
And of soulful bliss
You said,
"Let's break it down
With a soulful kiss!"
I thought you were haughty
And a little fanatic
You said I was sassy
And too melodramatic
All the apprehensive boys
With their shifty-eyed glances
Are no match
For your persistently bold advances!
The first guy unalarmed
By my Scorpio sting
You burst the bubble
Of the girl
Who liked to be the Queen
When I spoke of my dreams
And of soulful bliss
You said,
"Let's break it down
With a soulful kiss!"
Bridge:
I won't deny my craving
For this condition because
You've got a smile that penetrates
Through my fears of love
If every outcome has a purpose
Well then it's easy to see
That all my years of loneliness
Were meant to lead you to me.
< back |
| The Peace Offering |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
Oh faithful disciple
Of the heart,
I recall vividly the elements
Of your youth
When I discovered you there
In our House of Healing
Oh beloved brother,
Do you remember us then?
Such a great comfort
At the fall of each day
To hang silent with you -
Shamefully wallowing
Together
In our confusion
In our sorrow
Come now
Flesh of my flesh
Come and sleep
Here in my safe haven
I would never
I would never go public
With your contusions -
Never,
Never betray you
Sacred lamb
I would make a peace offering
Just to guard your flock
Both ambitious defenders
Of our adolescence
But you
You were the consummate soldier
Amazing how
You never protested the game plan
Though you were sacked
Time and time again
By your own blood
Bridge:
You are the gentle preceptor
The unadulterated salvager
On a lonely battlefield
The contrite
And humble spirit
So come now
Flesh of my flesh
Come now and sleep
Here in my safe haven
I would never
I would never go public
With your contusions -
Never,
Never betray you
Sacred lamb
I would make a peace offering
Just to guard your flock.
< back |
| We Need |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
Tell me why do
We burn ourselves
With our own rejections?
Why do
We numb ourselves
From our own afflictions?
When our feet have
Been washed our
Stage make-up
Holds no purpose after
The curtain is closed,
But still
Our decided nature thrives in
Our blind spot this life is
So much grander
So why do
We allow ourselves to believe that
Our terror exists
Merely to dramatize the plot?
We need to cultivate our minds
We need to audit our own objections
We need honest supplication
We need weighty revelation about our own essence
Tell me is it not
Perverse to take our place
So close to the fire
Yet not drink from the flame?!
We then foster blind oppressors
By our own desiderations we
Justify our discretions
In finding God in
The face of the poor we
Pour our guilt on the
Very ground She sleeps on
And then continue to walk away
We need to cultivate our minds
We need to audit our own objections
We need honest supplication
We need weighty revelation about our own essence
Tell me why do
We glorify works
Before our virtues we
Choose over faith
In ourselves?!
All we need is to spread this providence
For time will be fulfilled
For what is predicted
Will be revealed to us
We need to cultivate our minds
We need to audit our own objections
We need honest supplication
We need weighty revelation about our own essence.
< back |
| Winning Is Everything |
© Laura Nicole Kraus (Launna)
All rights reserved.
Sad to learn you've been running
Your puffed up mouth 'bout our ride
Telling those who'll listen that
I set out to be your wife
And it's a bad state for me
Truly, 'cause I was crushing
On the thought we might move past
Just mediocre fucking
Winning is everything
When it comes to my pride
Tried to be your woman but
You got too mighty and high
So no I don't respect you
Not with the way you crossed me
Winning is everything
Split, get out, I'm done and
Always remember who said it first
Clearly got too much worked up
Over a bottom rung someone
Should've known that what I dealt
Could not be matched by anyone
I played my hand non-stop and hard
Tracking points since my day one
Fortune was not my mother
I've been lucky on my own
Winning is everything
When it comes to my joy
Tried to be feminine but
Guess boys can't handle me...
So no I don't respect it
All that gender asperity
Winning is everything
Split, get out, I'm done and
Always remember: I said it first
Bridge:
Whoever says winning
Is not their top priority
Has yet to see life through my eyes
Has not been branded quite like me
Ding, score!
Top off my glass 'cause
That's one more point for me
Analeptic for all who notice
Me one-up you so easily!
Winning is everything
When it comes to my name
Played the part of a man but
They didn't treat me the same
So no I don't respect them
Not with the way they shunned me
Winning is everything
Split, get out, I'm done and
Always remember:
A woman said it first.
< back |
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